Motherhood as Sanctification

It’s 3 o’clock. The baby is crying.

My toddler is asking for a snack. Again.

And the remnants of lunch are still on the table because I needed a minute during naptime and decided not to clean up right way.

Then the toddler had an accident instead of a good long nap and it’s been chaos since.

And don’t ask me what’s for dinner because I gave up on meal planning a while back.

This all-too-familiar scene might resonate with you more than you’d like to admit. It’s happened here many times.

In fact, over the years, some version of this has played on repeat in our house.

Some days, I added an internal dialogue of the “shoulds” while I tried to maintain some semblance of control on the outside.

You know how it goes. I “should” have cleaned up instead of rested. I “should” have planned ahead for dinner. I “should” have double checked that the little one pottied before trying to nap. I “should,” I “should,” I “should.”

The truth is, those “shoulds” serve only to make us feel guilty and tell ourselves we’re not doing a good job at this mothering thing. Not to mention the homemaking thing.

Mama, you’re doing better than you think.

Motherhood isn’t just a role that we play.

It’s more, even, than a constant job and responsibility, though it definitely is that.

It’s a process that the Lord uses to shape our hearts. To mold us and teach us.

We often extend grace to our kids and forget that we need grace, too.

This isn’t about perfection, but progress. And there is no better way to make progress than to remember God’s grace to us.

Sanctification is the process of becoming more like Christ.

Motherhood, with it’s daily sacrifice and putting other’s needs ahead of our own, is a natural opportunity for growth.

Real sanctification doesn’t happen often in isolation. It’s not about the mountaintop experiences.

Those can be great, too, of course. There’s a reason the patriarch’s of the Old Testament often met the Lord on the mountaintop.

But we can also find him in the everyday moments.

Sanctification happens in the chaos of everyday life.

Those moments when you lose your cool and snap at the child asking for another snack? He wants to use those moments to reveal our own hearts. Our children are often a mirror to our hearts. They have a way of brining things out of us that we wish weren’t there.

But the Lord in his compassion wants to heal those broken parts of us. Because we are his children, too, and he loves us.

That insecurity you feel when your kids misbehave in public. The sense of insignificance as you wash those wet sheets. Wanting to control situations beyond our earthly control.

The Father wants to use these situations not to shame us, but to sanctify us.

The shame that we feel is from the enemy who wants us to give up and tell ourselves we have failed.

The Father wants us to know that we are loved, and we have been uniquely equipped to love and care for this family he’s given us.

Sanctification happens when we wake up again tomorrow, remembering the failures of yesterday, but pressing on with a prayer that we will have more patience today.

Speaking of patience, motherhood is a great place to exercise all the Fruit of the Spirit. This fruit is supplied to each of us by the Spirit. It’s not a character quality that we either possess or lack – it’s fruit that is produced inside each heart where the Spirit dwells.

“And the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and goodness. Faithfulness and gentleness and self-control…” Galatians 5:22

The last on the list of the qualities of the fruit is self-control. This is not an accident. Without self-control, we would have no hope of living out the others.

Self-control is the basis from which the others flow. And of course the Holy Spirit is the basis of them all.

Motherhood requires surrender – daily.

We surrender our idea of the perfect schedule.

We surrender having a perfect home.

We surrender the perfect image of ourselves. And our children.

In all that surrender, we must embrace our dependance on God. We embrace flexibility. We embrace humility.

Proverbs 3:5-6, possibly one of the most well-known passages outside of John 3:16 and Psalm 21, say we must “Trust in the Lord with all our hearts and lean not on our own understanding. In all (our) ways acknowledge Him and He will make (our) paths straight.”

Nowhere is this truer than in motherhood.

I know beyond any doubt that the Lord gave me my specific children, with their specific strengths and weaknesses, in order to stretch and sanctify me through my experiences mothering them.

Example: as a second-generation homeschooler, who always loved learning and would probably still go to school if I had the time and if someone else was footing the bill – I thought homeschooling was going to be a breeze.

I thought, I know how to do this.

I thought I knew what it would look like and how our days, even our years, would be shaped.

The reality? The Lord saw fit to give me 4 children with dyslexia. Something I knew absolutely nothing about previously. I didn’t even know my oldest 2 were dyslexic until I taught my third child to read… and he just learned. And then it all made sense.

Realizing that I did not, in fact, naturally have the tools I needed to teach my struggling children was one of the most humbling experiences.

It is still a struggle every day as I teach my fourth and fifth children to read. There is nothing I can do to make it come easily for them.

As a mama, it is difficult to see your children consistently struggle with something and be powerless to fix it. We can do all the things, try all the curriculum – and they are learning and progressing beautifully.

They work hard. They give it their all. But they are still dyslexic, and it will never be easy for them.

At this point in my homeschooling and mothering career, I actually know quite a bit about teaching children with not only dyslexia, but also ADHD and dysgraphia. This knowledge has come from many hours of research and seeking help outside of my own experience in order to learn the skills I needed to teach my children the way they needed to be taught.

These situations require sacrifice, patience, grace – all things I have received from the Father myself.

There is no other experience in life that has taught me so much about the Father’s love for me than parenting my own children. Nothing else even comes close.

Sanctification in motherhood doesn’t mean we will always get it right.

It simply means that we rely on the Author and Perfector of our faith in every moment – especially the ones where we don’t get it right.

Because real sanctification happens in real moments in real homes every day.

Motherhood shapes both us and our children. It is a calling. A ministry. A mission field.

As we grow in our relationship with our Savior, in front of our children, we show them what it means to be a true disciple of Jesus.

And we lead them to the foot of the Cross. Every day.

Father,

Thank you for meeting me in the middle of motherhood – right here in the mess, the noise, and the beauty I have the tendency to miss. Thank you for using these ordinary days to shape my heart and make me more like your Son.

Lord, when I feel impatient, weary, or unseen, remind me that You are working in me just as much as you are working in me. Help me surrender my expectations and trust that every moment – every joy, every challenge – is a part of your gentle refining. Grow in me the fruit of Your Spirit. Teach me to love deeply, respond gently, and walk faithfully. In my weakness, be my strength. In my chaos be my peace. and in every part of this calling, let your grace be what guides me.

Make my home a place where your presence is felt, Your kindness is shown and Your truth is lived out. Shape my heart, shape my children, and use our ordinary days for Your eternal purposes.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.