Love through the years | Anniversaries and Valentine’s Day

This February marks our 19th wedding anniversary.

It makes me feel old just to type that number! Which sounds a little silly, considering we have a 17-year-old highschool senior…

But still. 19 years!

There have been chapters of our marriage that were shaped by difficult realities – ones that tested trust, patience, hope, and even love itself.

Our marriage has endured not because we are strong or exceptional in any way, but because God is Faithful.

He meets us where we are again and again.

But love is much more than a feeling or a sentiment.

In marriage, it is a covenant. Which means choosing that covenant over feelings and the easy way.

Loving through struggles has taught me that perseverance is not passive.

It is active, prayerful, and sometimes costly.

It can look like telling the truth, boundaries, forgiveness, grace and the daily decision to remain rooted in what God is doing, even when the work is slow.

1 Corinthians 13:7-8 – the love chapter – read at our wedding so many years ago.
“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.”

These words speak more to the way that the Father loves us, not necessarily how we love on our own.

It is only through His strength and because of His love that we can even hope to ever apply this to our own relationships.

We celebrate our anniversary the same month, sometimes the same week, as Valentine’s day. This wasn’t planned… and for me it feels like a lot.
Expectations around gift giving and receiving often overwhelm me. I don’t really know why… I guess that’s something to figure out another time.

Years ago, we started doing something special with our kids on Valentine’s, instead of making it a day just about us.

We didn’t necessarily start out to create a tradition, but I suppose that’s what happened.

Every year (and only once a year!) we go all out with fondue.
I make the cheese and we have all the best things for dipping. Sourdough bread, broccoli, steak, sausage, potatoes, apples…

And once we have all eaten more than we can hold, we have the chocolate. It’s decadent and extra and I love doing it.

This year, my teenagers, were asked to babysit for a neighbor, which they do often, on Valentine’s day. They actually turned down the job this time because neither of them wanted to miss out on our family tradition.

Honestly, this was surprising to me! I didn’t expect them to choose this silly family night over a chance to make a little money.

Family traditions don’t have to be elaborate or complicated

… although this one might fall into that category!

What started as a way to celebrate Valentine’s with our kids, turned into something meaningful to them.
Something that means, through it all, our family loves – even when it’s hard.

Even when the years were difficult, emotions stretched thin, and convictions tested, we made it through.
This is an important lesson to instill in our children.

Love is much more than just a feeling – something that might be fleeting or give up and give in when things get tough. Which they will.

We love because He first loved us.